I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
