u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
