I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There's always time for handjobs
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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