so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
