You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
