You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
