My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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