and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
