There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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