I must be too annoying 4 u.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
