I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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