Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
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