you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I have demons in me.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
