i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize