I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
