is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize