I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
