5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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