I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
