honey bunches of taint.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
