Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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