i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
