hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
