Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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