Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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