I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm always down for nudity.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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