About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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