why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
