I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
