Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
