Plan B is the new Plan A
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
