HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
