Non-Jews are for practice
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
