you guys were way drunker than both of me
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
