mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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