So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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