I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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