I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
