I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Two words: blizzard sex
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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