Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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