Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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