Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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