It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
now i know why i became what i already was.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
