You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
