So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
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