i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
