how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
