Screwed.edu
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
