he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
