she was so not down for the gang bang
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
