if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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