So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
