I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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