i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
