She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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