Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
