I don't remember. Are we still dating?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Every concussion has its silver lining
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
