Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
vagina is talking i cant
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
